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Epic pick up lines

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Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Pickup lines are a tricky business. Oftentimes, they're creepy to the point of deserving a slap.

When they're not creepy, they're so corny that they warrant an eye roll so gloriously dramatic, sarcastic, and spiteful that the shame-stink of it will haunt you forever, like the spray of a skunk. And they don't make tomato juice that can wash shame-stink off of your soul. We here at Cracked want to change that.

We want to arm you with the boldest and strongest, yet non-slappy and non-shamey, pickup lines that you can use on a potential mate. These lines will make an impression without the fear of a woman leaving an impression of her hand on your cheek. Why bash a girl over the head with a blatant and Epic pick up lines appeal Epic pick up lines get in her pants, when you Epic pick up lines use simple wordplay to slightly baffle her with the suggestion that your name is a general description for a time of day?

It's no secret that women want a guy with money. It's not a matter of gold digging; it's a matter of not being stuck with an unemployed loser whose yearly income can be counted on his hands and feet. While this line will definitely grab attention, there is a downside: Being rich makes up for a lot of physical disadvantages.

Out of all the pickup lines like it -- where a girl is asked a question, and the guy's follow-up statement is a pun based on the question -- this one is a clear winner.

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Because usually the follow-up is a statement so perverse, so profane, so disgusting that it should only be used if your intent is to be slapped out of your chauvinism. Yes, of course it's ridiculous to ask if someone is named WiFi. No one is named WiFi, and the only babies who will be named WiFi in the future will be so ruthlessly mocked throughout their lives they will never, ever be found in popular hangout spots where pickup lines are used.

But pickup lines are in no way guaranteed to Epic pick up lines you bumping uglies in the sack; they exist solely to break the ice and get a giggle out of a potential partner, getting you started off on the right foot, thus opening the pathway for conversation. It's a silly line, but with enough charm and humor behind it, it can work on anyone. It's always good to compare a lovely lady to something that can and has killed millions.

Might as well compare them to the Black Death, right? But pushing that aside, this line isn't about comparing a person's attractiveness to that of a nuclear bomb; it's about the clever, unique spin on the classic adage "if looks could Epic pick up lines. This line is best paired with a stiff drink, a mean strut, and a righteous hand, one primarily used for loving and secondarily used as a fist for the pummeling of fools.

Nothing gets a girl in the mood more than suggesting her degree of hotness is comparable to the complex legalese denoted with Epic pick up lines asterisk at the bottom of a credit card statement.

The beauty of this line can be found in how seamlessly it can be woven into conversation. Most pickup lines are about as subtle as a cartoon caveman clubbing a cavewoman over the head with a mallet as his first and only means of wooing. This line is smooth and doesn't leave behind the rank aftertaste of horny desperation. It's clever without being too corny, and it has that romantic quality you'd imagine of a noir detective from the s, saying it just before he passionately grabs his dame by the shoulders and lays a smooch on her lips so powerful that the movie absolutely must cut to the end credits, because there's no way anything can top it.

Just don't wear a fedora, unless your jawline was chiseled from stone and your name is something uber-manly, like Dirk Manwood. Were you raised in a barn? Ah, nothing better than a clever verbal trap to ensnare the affections of a woman.

With this line, you can deviate from the norm and inject some absurdity into the dating scene. It's like a line a Monty Python member would, and probably has, used to score a date. With this, you can spice up Epic pick up lines normally acrid, oftentimes horrible world of pickup lines with something far more creative than anything Epic pick up lines girl will hear on any given night.

Some women can totally call your bluff on this. Flattery through financial comparison. This line singles out a beautiful woman as something special.

Everyone -- man, woman, ghostly apparition, highly intelligent dog -- loves feeling like they alone "Epic pick up lines" the focus of someone's desires. Start off by setting up the premise of an even split of money for the most beautiful, then knock her heart out by telling her she's the only woman alive worthy of the lofty title of the most beautiful you've ever seen. If that doesn't get her panties in a bunch, then you're going to have to wait until last call to try to pick up some of the desperate leftovers.

Because I'm loonie for you. There's no hiding the fact that this anti-pickup line is, in fact, Epic pick up lines pickup line in itself. It's a variation on the meta pickup line from a few entries above. But again, if you're going to use a pickup line, why masquerade your intentions? Don't hide it -- have some fun with the concept of using a silly line to try Epic pick up lines pick up a girl by pointing at the absurdity of what you're doing, and hope the girl you're trying to chat up has the Epic pick up lines of humor to join in on the fun and give you the benefit of the doubt.

No, it was line; I don't need you to call me an ambulance-". Everyone looks better with a golden hue bestowed upon them by the rays of the sun. People love it so much that there are salons where all they do is shove people in ovens or hose them down with orange goo to give them the radiant glow they so desire.

Casually asking if a girl has a tan implies that she has a glow about her, that her skin tone makes her pop out from within a dense crowd, even in a dark bar or club. If said with a casual tone, this line can catch a girl off guard.

It's bold without crossing a line, it's firm without being offensive, it's complimentary without making you sound like a slobbering sex hound.

We're obsessed celebrities, Epic pick up lines celebs are pretty normal folks That's why everyone just makes stuff up about them. Here's a handy guide, because new conspiracy theories are created every day. There are a bunch of tried and true ways to market a movie Sometimes provocateurs will attempt a stunt that backfires so hard that it actually proves their enemies right.

Evil people gain power because otherwise-good people actively help them along. Don't make me do "Epic pick up lines" again. Don't have an account? Please enter a Username. I agree to the Terms of Service. Add me to the weekly newsletter. Add me to the daily newsletter.

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Link Existing Cracked Account. Use My Facebook Avatar. Add me to the weekly Newsletter. Recommended For Your Pleasure. To turn on reply notifications, click here. Tumblr is the best place to pick up hotties AND reblog images of chicken nuggets. A smooth pickup line can break the ice on Tinder, but a funny line is your best bet ! Check out these weird but funny lines that actually worked.

Pickup lines are a tricky business. Epic pick up lines, they're creepy to the point of deserving Epic pick up lines slap.

Pickup lines are a tricky...

When they're not creepy, they're so corny that they.

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