Gone are the days when men courted and wooed women, continuously seducing them with sexual offers. They knew well that women needed to feel loved to want sex, unlike their male counterparts that needed sex to feel loved.
Love and trust had to be built before couples would consummate their relationship. We can feel nostalgic for the romance and courtship of bygone days but know well that those times are behind us.
Welcome to the new world. A world where instant gratification is the new norm, and experimenting with sex with no strings attached is accepted as part of the dating game.
Love is rarely present in the equation. We're the hook-up, break-up generation. We get into any relationship at the slightest attraction and step away the minute we get bored, in a rush to find greener pastures.
Fading decorum around courting, and online dating apps among other things, are being blamed. We live in a passive-aggressive culture and are in such a hurry to experiment that we don't particularly care to get to know the person we're dating. The overwhelming amount of sexual information online and in the media places a lot of pressure on men and women to perform.
Added to that is overwhelm of technology that prevails, so much so that we have become a generation with few communication skills. Our lives exist in the ether realm of Skype, Snapchat, and texts. What we share is mostly hovering in cyberspace so that when we do get together there is not much left to say.
Action in the form of sex is the only alternative. It is how this generation communicates, through sex.
To many a man sex is a game where he feels he has scored. He needs to win and feel like a man through consistent intercourse. Of course, for those who are not particularly interested in building a life-long partnership then this is an acceptable way of life. However, at the heart of many men is a desire for intimacy and connection in lovemaking.
These men crave intense, passionate, surrendered sexual experiences with their lovers and they want a sexual SoulMate as much as women do.
It is therefore, to these men and women we address this question: How soon is too soon to have sex? Baby boomers are far more likely to wait to have sex than young daters because having gone thru the sexual revolution, with maturity they realize there are emotional consequences for getting involved in a sexual relationship.
However they play by far different rules than young something daters.
Many young Generation X'ers tend to move on to the next person if they didn't have sex on the first or second encounter. They may find that they don't even like the person, but in the heat of the moment they think nothing of having sex for the instant satisfaction it affords them.
They find it liberating that intimacy doesn't have to be wrapped up with commitment.
To be able to walk away after having had sex, without even a backward glance is the new norm. However, if you are a person looking for more than just a fling, regardless of age or experience it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules before going out on the big date. Know your boundaries before you start dating. Not just the physical but also the emotional boundaries that come with sexual territory.